Looking back on my life, there is a lot I could mention when
discussing how I’ve ended up where I am. I can only know bits and pieces
compared to the mass symphony (John 21:25)
that God has been/is/will be orchestrating, but I can’t help but share (Acts
4:20) the bits that I know.
Deep in the summer of 2005, a close friend of mine, BJ
Higgins, returned from his second 30-day mission trip to Peru.
His consuming
passion (Jeremiah 20:9) for telling people – including Christians (1
Thessalonians 5:9-11) – about Christ was salient before, but it had only
increased (John 3:30) upon his
return. He became sick and was hospitalized in mid-August (Philippians 1:29). But even as he lay mostly unconscious, many
things were happening (Isaiah 43:19):
A blog was set up in order to keep BJ’s family and friends
updated not only on his physical status, but his family’s emotional condition
as well. Soon it was visited daily by hundreds of people praying for him
and his family (James 5:13-20), and an
incredible
unity (John 17) began to form among everyone involved. The root of our
prayers was simple, but sincere: “Christ, if
You will it, heal his body, but do the thing that will bring You the most
glory, the most recognition.” (Luke 22:42)
On September 26,
2005, BJ passed away (Psalm 116:15). This sparked my interest in
missions (Psalm 2:8), as well as my unshakeable certainty that I would soon become
involved with how God is loving people and bringing them to Himself (Luke
19:10) in places beyond Indiana and the United States.
Since his death, I have been on a few trips with other
people seeking to love and show and tell people about Christ (1 John 3:16). I was able to go to Mexico,
Canada, and
many places throughout the US.
I adore how being a missionary is a lifestyle (John 15:5, Galatians 2:20, 2 Corinthians 5:16), and am so thankful that the people who have
poured into my life have been examples of this.
Now, I could give you statistics and stories and global
situations and use them as reasons why I am headed to South
Africa. I could tell you that I know the
exact details of why I am going, and fool myself into thinking that God needs
me. But
He doesn’t. He will accomplish His purposes whether or not I choose
to obey Him (Acts 12:23).
However, with what I’ve tasted and seen (Psalm 37:4) of the abundant
life (John 10:10) that results from following Him at all costs (Mark
8:35), nothing else even begins to compare to how good it is to abide
in Him (John 15:1-5) and stand in awe (Ecclesiastes 5:7) at how
He works. This applies not only to joy and thrill and adventure, but to
suffering and pain and anguish of heart as well (Psalm 136:16). Because when
there’s pain, He is our healer and restorer. When there’s suffering, He is
our comforter (2 Corinthians 1:2-5). In everything, He
IS (John 8:58) exactly
what we need, and gives us fantastic, undeserved things (2 Corinthians 12:7-10).
I end this with both certainty and uncertainty: I am
certain that God is good (Psalm 136). I believe He desires to use these nine
months as a part of my journey with Him, and His journey with others
(Ephesians 3:20-21). I am, however,
uncertain of the details. But I have absolutely nothing to fear (Psalm 27), or
prove (Galatians 6:14, Colossians 1:22), or worry about (Matthew 6:34, John
17:22-24). Please pray that this state of mind (Hebrews 12:1-2, Romans
12:1-2) would become a solid state of heart for God’s
people (Ephesians 1:18, Psalm 16:9).
Psalm 56:9b – This is know, that God is for me.
