We were asked to write a blog about the expectations of this trip. To be honest, it took me a while to understand that the purpose of this blog is not to accurately predict what will take place on a trip like this. I hope for His hopes to increasingly become mine as well. And if it is increasing, I am aware that what is written here could become obsolete in a short amount of time.

I am sure of the vague -- that God will be faithful and provisional, powerful and holy, gentle and mysterious, our source of strength and compassion and love that is extended to those around us. I beg for us to be fully and delightfully surrendered to Him, letting Him live His life through us and resilient to the opposition we will face from our skilled and deceitful enemy. 

I am unsure, however, of the specifics.

My heart thrives when I think of the things I will share in the coming year. I so want to know Him! The process is my purpose and my delight.

I will write what I have written here already -- that He is faithful and just, compassionate and merciful, full of love and more intimate than any human was made to be. 

He indeed is the same yesterday, today, and forever. 

I pray that the things He does will cause us to stand in awe of Him. I hope to be driven deeper into His heart, His Word, His compassion, His Kingdom.

I may be broken, uncomfortable, stretched, sick, weak, and bruised. (Ezekiel 22:30, 2 Chronicles 16:9, Philippians 1:20-29, 1 Peter 4:1-2.)

But if that's what it takes for Him to accomplish His purposes through me, then so be it! It is well worth it!

Along with suffering, I believe there will be times when I overflow His joy and peace, cry tears of awe, praise Him with a glad heart, and many, many other things. 

All that is within me is abundantly overjoyed that God would have me be a part of this. 

And even if this trip turns out to be less delightful than my anticipations, I can learn what it means to "offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving." I can be comforted by Him and content simply because His grace is sufficient. He's got me covered!!

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. 

So let us praise Him NOW according to who He is -- who He was to David and Solomon, to Paul and Peter, and who He will be when we see Him as He is -- no matter what He does or doesn't do, regardless of what He gives or takes away. 

God is Good.

Stay tuned for details.

I hereby interrupt a series of blogs to note a number of changes that have been made to this program:

-What would have been a week of boot camp immediately before heading to South Africa (on September 9, 2009) has been moved to August 6-11. The intention behind this is to give the team more time to process and prepare at home after camp before heading out.

-What would have been three and a half months of discipleship training, or "The Awakening," has been moved from South Africa to Matamoros, Mexico. The allotted time for this is two months, and we will be joined with what was the Latin America team.

-What would have been outreach teams of roughly a dozen people have been minimized to groups of five or six. This is huge -- because it has opened doors for missionaries in places other than South Africa to host us due to smaller team sizes.

As a result of these changes, I may end up somewhere different than what I originally signed up for -- but I am more than alright with that. I did not commit to a nation; I committed to my God.

Trust in the Lord, and do good;

Dwell in the land, and cultivate faithfulness.

Delight yourself in the Lord,

And He will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;

Trust also in Him, and He will do it.

And He will bring forth

Your righteousness as the light,

And your judgment as the noonday.

Rest in the Lord

And wait patiently for Him.

--Psalm 37:3-7a

I am honestly stoked about these changes! The changes themselves excite me -- but beyond that, I love the fact that God is being followed and changes are being made this far along in the process!

Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised,

His greatness is unsearchable.

One generation shall commend Your works to another,

And shall declare Your mighty acts.

On the glorious splendor of Your majesty,

And on Your wondrous works,

I will meditate.

They shall speak of the might of Your awesome deeds,

And I will declare Your greatness.

They shall pour forth the fame of Your abundant goodness

And shall sing aloud of Your righteousness.

The Lord is gracious and merciful,

Slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

The Lord is good to all,

And His mercy is over all that He has made.

--Psalm 145:3-7

Looking back on my life, there is a lot I could mention when discussing how I've ended up where I am. I can only know bits and pieces compared to the mass symphony (John 21:25) that God has been/is/will be orchestrating, but I can't help but share (Acts 4:20) the bits that I know.

Deep in the summer of 2005, a close friend of mine, BJ Higgins, returned from his second 30-day mission trip to Peru. His consuming passion (Jeremiah 20:9) for telling people - including Christians (1 Thessalonians 5:9-11) - about Christ was salient before, but it had only increased (John 3:30) upon his return. He became sick and was hospitalized in mid-August (Philippians 1:29). But even as he lay mostly unconscious, many things were happening (Isaiah 43:19):

A blog was set up in order to keep BJ's family and friends updated not only on his physical status, but his family's emotional condition as well. Soon it was visited daily by hundreds of people praying for him and his family (James 5:13-20), and an incredible unity (John 17) began to form among everyone involved. The root of our prayers was simple, but sincere: "Christ, if You will it, heal his body, but do the thing that will bring You the most glory, the most recognition." (Luke 22:42)

On September 26, 2005, BJ passed away (Psalm 116:15). This sparked my interest in missions (Psalm 2:8), as well as my unshakeable certainty that I would soon become involved with how God is loving people and bringing them to Himself (Luke 19:10) in places beyond Indiana and the United States.

Since his death, I have been on a few trips with other people seeking to love and show and tell people about Christ (1 John 3:16). I was able to go to Mexico, Canada, and many places throughout the US. I adore how being a missionary is a lifestyle (John 15:5, Galatians 2:20, 2 Corinthians 5:16), and am so thankful that the people who have poured into my life have been examples of this.

Now, I could give you statistics and stories and global situations and use them as reasons why I am headed to South Africa. I could tell you that I know the exact details of why I am going, and fool myself into thinking that God needs me. But He doesn't. He will accomplish His purposes whether or not I choose to obey Him (Acts 12:23).

However, with what I've tasted and seen (Psalm 37:4) of the abundant life (John 10:10) that results from following Him at all costs (Mark 8:35), nothing else even begins to compare to how good it is to abide in Him (John 15:1-5) and stand in awe (Ecclesiastes 5:7) at how He works. This applies not only to joy and thrill and adventure, but to suffering and pain and anguish of heart as well (Psalm 136:16). Because when there's pain, He is our healer and restorer. When there's suffering, He is our comforter (2 Corinthians 1:2-5). In everything, He IS (John 8:58) exactly what we need, and gives us fantastic, undeserved things (2 Corinthians 12:7-10).

I end this with both certainty and uncertainty: I am certain that God is good (Psalm 136). I believe He desires to use these nine months as a part of my journey with Him, and His journey with others (Ephesians 3:20-21). I am, however, uncertain of the details. But I have absolutely nothing to fear (Psalm 27), or prove (Galatians 6:14, Colossians 1:22), or worry about (Matthew 6:34, John 17:22-24). Please pray that this state of mind (Hebrews 12:1-2, Romans 12:1-2) would become a solid state of heart for God's people (Ephesians 1:18, Psalm 16:9).

Psalm 56:9b - This is know, that God is for me.